Why Gaits and Glory?

There are some - perhaps many - for whom the title of this Blog might seem unclear. I suppose I could have reversed the order to Glory and Gaits or to Glorious Gaits or maybe even Glorious Gate.

When I think of gaits, I think of the varied movement of the horse, whether a walk, a trot, a canter, or gallop. But really, anything that walks or runs has some form of gait.

As for me, I amble a little. I sometimes limp a little. Sometimes - but not too terribly often - I drag a foot or two. I might even be gait-less.

It's not that I am lazy. At least, not all the time. But I do find myself gait-challenged from chronic muscle weakness due to an unnamed neurological condition I now call "it." "It" behaves like M.S., especially in the summertime. "It" behaves like Myasthenia Gravis, especially in the morning or when I am tired or stressed.

"It" it seems is neither, even though some have inferred a number of times that "It" likely was one or the other. I remember receiving the first neurologist's letter in the mail with initial test results pointing to Multiple Sclerosis. I was stunned. I could not speak, only cry. When the future was considered, it seemed bleak. I felt I would become a burden to my husband.

Since that long-ago-time "It" has been retested and re-named for well over three decades.  Second-guessed, reclassified, nullified and unclassified, "It" has even served as a springboard for testing resulting in uncovering unrelated but definable, name-able, "non-It" issues.

Regardless of the differing opinions of a host of neurologi (that is the plural, right? HA!), one thing remains static. Whatever "It" is or is not, the symptoms have not changed, except I do not need the assistance of a cane as much as I used to while living in the heat of California. I continue to have periodic issues with my gait, challenges with limited muscle endurance, focus, and energy.

Because my energy level is not usually high I tend to add as much to my calendar as possible. Does that seem counterintuitive? It is. However, keeping myself active in this cool climate of Colorado actually helps charge my batteries.  That is not to say that I do not tire. I tire every day. Often by late morning.

The tiredness is a trigger to pull myself up by my belt loops and head to the barn to shovel manure. I saddle a horse or two and give ourselves the exercise we need. I talk to the horses. In the quietness of the barn and the footfall of their flat walk gaits, I give prayerful attention to the needs of life.

There is a saying which brings a smile: "There is something about the outside of a horse that is good for the inside of a girl." God's creation of these amazing animals brings an inspired pause.

I find myself in awe of God's glory and goodness in the nearly 40 years of this neurological mystery. Not because I have horses; horses have been only been a part of my life for a short time.

I find myself in awe, even though I remember the days of no neurological difficulties, as well as days of boundless energy, livelier gaits and days of not needing the periodic assistance of a cane. I find myself in awe, even though no defining diagnosis has come. No cure has come.

But God in His grace reveals that He makes a way where there seems to be no way. He teaches through His Word that godliness with contentment is great gain. No matter what circumstances we find ourselves in, I can choose to glorify and honor Him.

I have so much more to learn as I continue to along this path with Him. He can make this crooked gait straight. While He might not choose to do so physically, He gives me all I need to do so spiritually, to His glory.

This being the first blog I have ever written, I hope to share who He is and to bring some measure of encouragement to the reader in future posts. Indeed, in the midst of our circumstances, we are each invited through a narrow, but Glorious Gate by way of His Son, Jesus Christ, to walk and follow after Him.